There’s something about Hong Kongers
There’s something about Hong Kongers 10 Sep 09
(Inhouse Humorous Speech Contest)
Everywhere I go in Hong Kong, every time I speak, people ask me “Are you from Singapore?” I will reply ”Ya! I’m a Singaporean la!” (pause) It is so obvious hor!?
And .. I-NOT STUPID ……I chose / the right year, month & day to come to Hong Kong. It was / year 2003, July / 1st. I received a huge and warm welcome… half a million people marched on the streets to protest… (phew..clear sweat from forehead) not about my arrival!
There is something about Hong Kongers / and I want to tell you from a Singaporean’s perspective!
My first day at work – a lady from HR department greeted me. “Hello Lilan, I’m Hazel and she is Almond. We are both nuts!” Errr. Yes.. Hazel nuts, Almond nuts! What creative names and introduction. Later I found out we’ve colleagues with names such as Angela Baby, Rainbow, Sugar Beez and even a Cinderella.
Like most hongkongers, Hazel is a very efficient worker. She wastes no time in her work and in her speech. She would say “cop” instead of “copy”, “mon” for “monitor”, “con” for (pause) “contact lens”. That’s right, very efficient!
Having said that, I don’t understand why Hazel will purposely lengthen some words “I took a bus to work” “This is small size”
Well, Singapore English or what I call “Singlish” is not much better – we often add unnecessary sounds to end our sentence or question – and it can be confusing for non-Singaporean. This is how my best friend Jenny speaks to her son “Terry, I tell you hor, what I do is for your own good lah! You bring your PSP to school, your teacher won’t confiscate meh?“
By the way, the sound meh in Singlish is a question mark, hor is an exclamation ..I tell you hor. (pause) What about la? Well, Singaporean just like to sing lah..
Jimmy (not Our Jimmy in MDC), Jimmy, my stockbroker in Hong Kong. He has his own daily happiness index, could you guess what index is that? The Hang Seng Index! When the index is high, Jimmy is on CLOUD NINE, when the index is down, Jimmy wears a frown!
Jimmy is young and hardworking. When Hong Kong stock market closes, he opens another market! US stock market? NO! Night market! Every day after work, Jimmy sells cushion at Ladies Street. Not your ordinary cushion, but LENG MO cushion! Big cushion with life size picture of pretty model! LENG means pretty or good looking in Cantonese, MO means Model in short. Leng Mo cushion. (pointing to someone) Do you have one at home?
Do you know it’s nice to grow old in Hong Kong? Everywhere I go, people call me “leng loy” which means pretty or good looking girl. Well, that’s how waiter in local teahouse or stall holder in wet market address their customers – “LENG LOY, what do u want?” When I was first addressed as such, all my goose pimples standup! LENG LOY? Pretty Girl (shrug shoulder, rub arms) But.. come to think about it, W-H-Y N-O-T? We get to stay pretty or good looking forever…even if we are in 40s, 50s, 60s. But when you are 65 years old, you are not leng loy, (pause) you are a rich leng loy! You receive a monthly allowance from the government – what they call “Fruit Money”. I wonder when the government will change the name of this allowance – imagine spending $1000 a month on oranges, apples, cherries...you sure end up having diarrhoea!
(5min)
Do you know the elderly in Hong Kong save a lot of money on transport and entertainment? On Wednesday ...with only $2, the elderly could ride a MTR from far away Yuen Long to Central..to sit in Legislative Council meeting..enjoy free entertainment – debate between Bow Tie & Long Hair. And if they are lucky, Long Hair might give them free bananas!
Ladies & gentlemen, after 6 years in Hong Kong, indeed, I find there is something about Hong Kongers. All the hongkongers here – please raise your hands! I salute you! You are creative, efficient and hardworking! Hong Kong indeed is ..Asia’s.. World City – keep up your creativity, efficiency & hardwork! And of course, you stay pretty & good looking forever!
(6min)
Last night I spoke with my best friend in Singapore “Jenny, I tell you hor..come to Hong Kong lah..summer sales started already.. shoes, clothes on sale from Ferragamo to ……Giordano. Terry can bring his PSP but make sure (pause) you leave your husband Kim Siong in Spore, if not…. he will go to Ladies Street and bring home a Leng-mo cushion!
(Inhouse Humorous Speech Contest)
Everywhere I go in Hong Kong, every time I speak, people ask me “Are you from Singapore?” I will reply ”Ya! I’m a Singaporean la!” (pause) It is so obvious hor!?
And .. I-NOT STUPID ……I chose / the right year, month & day to come to Hong Kong. It was / year 2003, July / 1st. I received a huge and warm welcome… half a million people marched on the streets to protest… (phew..clear sweat from forehead) not about my arrival!
There is something about Hong Kongers / and I want to tell you from a Singaporean’s perspective!
My first day at work – a lady from HR department greeted me. “Hello Lilan, I’m Hazel and she is Almond. We are both nuts!” Errr. Yes.. Hazel nuts, Almond nuts! What creative names and introduction. Later I found out we’ve colleagues with names such as Angela Baby, Rainbow, Sugar Beez and even a Cinderella.
Like most hongkongers, Hazel is a very efficient worker. She wastes no time in her work and in her speech. She would say “cop” instead of “copy”, “mon” for “monitor”, “con” for (pause) “contact lens”. That’s right, very efficient!
Having said that, I don’t understand why Hazel will purposely lengthen some words “I took a bus to work” “This is small size”
Well, Singapore English or what I call “Singlish” is not much better – we often add unnecessary sounds to end our sentence or question – and it can be confusing for non-Singaporean. This is how my best friend Jenny speaks to her son “Terry, I tell you hor, what I do is for your own good lah! You bring your PSP to school, your teacher won’t confiscate meh?“
By the way, the sound meh in Singlish is a question mark, hor is an exclamation ..I tell you hor. (pause) What about la? Well, Singaporean just like to sing lah..
Jimmy (not Our Jimmy in MDC), Jimmy, my stockbroker in Hong Kong. He has his own daily happiness index, could you guess what index is that? The Hang Seng Index! When the index is high, Jimmy is on CLOUD NINE, when the index is down, Jimmy wears a frown!
Jimmy is young and hardworking. When Hong Kong stock market closes, he opens another market! US stock market? NO! Night market! Every day after work, Jimmy sells cushion at Ladies Street. Not your ordinary cushion, but LENG MO cushion! Big cushion with life size picture of pretty model! LENG means pretty or good looking in Cantonese, MO means Model in short. Leng Mo cushion. (pointing to someone) Do you have one at home?
Do you know it’s nice to grow old in Hong Kong? Everywhere I go, people call me “leng loy” which means pretty or good looking girl. Well, that’s how waiter in local teahouse or stall holder in wet market address their customers – “LENG LOY, what do u want?” When I was first addressed as such, all my goose pimples standup! LENG LOY? Pretty Girl (shrug shoulder, rub arms) But.. come to think about it, W-H-Y N-O-T? We get to stay pretty or good looking forever…even if we are in 40s, 50s, 60s. But when you are 65 years old, you are not leng loy, (pause) you are a rich leng loy! You receive a monthly allowance from the government – what they call “Fruit Money”. I wonder when the government will change the name of this allowance – imagine spending $1000 a month on oranges, apples, cherries...you sure end up having diarrhoea!
(5min)
Do you know the elderly in Hong Kong save a lot of money on transport and entertainment? On Wednesday ...with only $2, the elderly could ride a MTR from far away Yuen Long to Central..to sit in Legislative Council meeting..enjoy free entertainment – debate between Bow Tie & Long Hair. And if they are lucky, Long Hair might give them free bananas!
Ladies & gentlemen, after 6 years in Hong Kong, indeed, I find there is something about Hong Kongers. All the hongkongers here – please raise your hands! I salute you! You are creative, efficient and hardworking! Hong Kong indeed is ..Asia’s.. World City – keep up your creativity, efficiency & hardwork! And of course, you stay pretty & good looking forever!
(6min)
Last night I spoke with my best friend in Singapore “Jenny, I tell you hor..come to Hong Kong lah..summer sales started already.. shoes, clothes on sale from Ferragamo to ……Giordano. Terry can bring his PSP but make sure (pause) you leave your husband Kim Siong in Spore, if not…. he will go to Ladies Street and bring home a Leng-mo cushion!
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10:35 PM
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