ABC (inhouse Humorous Speech Contest Aug2014)

ABCDEFG   My little niece is learning the alphabet.    I ask her, “Miu Miu, the letter A is for ?”     “Apple!”      “Clever!  B for ?”     “Bluetoo!”     “Bluetoo?  Ah!    Bluetooth!   Alright! ”      “Now, the letter F is for ?  “Facebook!”

Fellow Toastmasters and Friends, do you remember the alphabet chart - during your time?    “A for Apple, B for  …. Boy”  
 

Technology and internet have changed our lives.   New age children, like my niece, know how to use smartphone - before learning to - tie shoes laces.   

Recently I went on a packaged tour with my relatives, I shared a room with my cousin, her name is DotCom.  She is 25 years old (like Cecilia).   DotCom told me she has Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts.   I said “Really? Do you have life?”    She said “OMG!  No!   Where to download Life?”   …….   OMG - Oh My God!”

I asked her about her hobbies.  She said “Check my facebook! TMI ”       TMI? What’s that?     ‘Too much information’.    I thought TMI is the new acronym for Toast Master International.

During the trip, I discovered DotCom is an addict.  She is addicted to internet.    She feels depressed if she hasn’t had internet access (like Facebook, Twitter) for a long time  – do you know the feeling.. not connected to internet ..for a long time like - a few minutes.  

Luckily, there was wifi connection at restaurants and hotels.  But one night, we stayed in a rural hotel-  which has no wifi.  I nicknamed the hotel “internet detox center”.  DotCom could not update facebook, tweet or watsapp, She was moody, restless and became a Cold Turkey. 

Next morning, the tour group left the hotel for another place – a 6 hour bus ride!   After 1 hour, DotCom could not take it anymore - 20 hours without connection!  Her brain was disconnected!   She bribed the tour guide, begged the driver – to stop for wifi connection.

The bus stopped at a gas station and everyone went to the mini-mart.   “Do you’ve wifi?” DotCom asked the cashier.  “Yes we do but please purchase something ”    Very quickly, she bought something, the cashier then showed her a piece of paper – the wifi password!    …………   Apparently, DotCom wasn’t the only one addicted.    Everyone rushed to the counter with their smartphones.

DotCom typed very fast and was connected.   But many others …including myself were still typing.   The password was very long – about 20 characters, all in capital….BGCFCBX ..  Suddenly, the cashier took back the paper.   ………… Very quickly, someone bought something.    This time, did I type faster?   No!    …………  I was smarter!  I took a picture.  And everyone rushed to me.

When I was connected, I posted photos on my facebook!  My sister replied instantly:   thought you were kidnapped – about to call the police!  

For a moment, I thought the Police Department has passed a new legislation – Report a person as missing if he/she is not connected for 24hours.
Talking about Facebook, how many of you have Facebook accounts? Please raise your hand.  I see!  Quite many!  I love Facebook.  I'd rather check - my Facebook than face -  my checkbook.

Ladies & Gentlemen, internet is changing our lives, our language and behaviour!       Like it or not – internet is here to stay. So, let’s learn to accept and manage it.  Manage well – Internet is your servant.  Manage badly, you become its slave!

Back to the alphabet chart, I asked my niece “Mui Mui,  tell me A is for ?”     “Apple!”        “Clever!   T for ?”    “Touchscreen!”      hmm..  I prefer Toastmaster!      

But thanks God, at least - A is still for ……. APPLE.        Wait!  May be not.  A could be for App! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVqaSqZTAVg&feature=youtu.be